#and Naruto saw his as a father figure over time but for me

[tariah23]

I wonder if it’s a hot enough take to mention that I never gave a damn about iruka sensei and that he gets the shisui treatment by fans simply because Naruto cares about him-

[mixelation]

i got up to do a chore and then was like "no, i should write down this sentence first" and then wrote a 700 word intro to "deidara is minato's oops baby" i guess

Our story, dear reader, starts like many do: with tragedy. 

At the height of the Third Shinobi War, Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina come to an agreement. Whenever Minato is out of the village on a long-term mission, they are both free to have sex with whomever they please. 

They refine this agreement multiple times over the years, to keep the both of them comfortable and happy. They make rules to prevent emotional attachments. They both commit to their due diligence in screening for STIs and preventing pregnancies. 

There is no rule against having sex with enemy ninja. Six months out from his marriage, Minato sleeps with an Iwa missing-nin. Her name is Juri, but Minato never learns this. She’s the one who makes the proposition, and he thinks it’s a bit sexy, to sleep with the enemy. Juri enjoys the thrill of fucking the man that her former village, now her most hated enemy, is most afraid of. 

The condom breaks. Juri insists she knows the contraceptive jutsu, and she definitely doesn’t want to be pregnant, on account of currently being on the run from her home village. Minato hedges and asks her to do the jutsu in front of him just to be sure, and she acquiesces. They part on good terms and do not give the other any way to contact each other. 

Minato goes home and reports the broken condom to his fiancée, but neither of them give the incident much worry. The contraceptive jutsu is easy, and Minato saw her do it, and also what are the chances that this random woman would get pregnant from this one hook up?

Kushina also thinks sleeping with the enemy is kind of sexy. They roleplay it a few times and otherwise never think of Juri again. 

What neither of them know is that Juri has a bloodline limit which affects her chakra. What Juri herself doesn’t even know, is that she needs specific adjustments to the contraceptive jutsu to accommodate her bloodline limit. It’s never come up before. She’s never had a condom break. 

Half a year later, Minato and Kushina are married, and Juri is recaptured by Iwa. 

“You can’t execute me,” she insists. “I’m pregnant. Don’t you want more explosion release babies?”

She does not reveal the identity of the father. This seems like it could get her special treatment, or it might get both her and her baby killed. She decides not to risk it. 

For the first few years of his life, little Deidara has an average upbringing. Juri is under constant surveillance, but the war has been costly and Iwa does need more babies. That Deidara is healthy and demonstrates a strong aptitude for shinobi skills is a boon to Iwa and a boon to Juri. 

The Yellow Flash becomes Hokage, and Deidara begins ninja training years early. Iwa insists Juri have more children. They pick out men for her. 

To breed me like a dog, Juri thinks, grinding her teeth. No thanks!

She leaves the village again. She does give some thought into bringing Deidara with her, but ultimately concludes her chances of survival will be higher without him. 

Fuck Iwa, she thinks, and on her first day as a free woman, she sends a message to Konoha. 

Juri does not survive the week. Uzumaki Kushina and her newborn baby Naruto, in an unrelated incident you may know something about, also do not survive the week. Konoha is plunged into chaos, and the message from Juri ends up buried in a report that the grieving Yellow Flash doesn’t read. 

The start to this story, as you can see, dear reader, is very sad. We are left with three of our named characters dead. One of our survivors is overwhelmed with grief and survivor’s guilt for years to come, unable to forsake his duties to the village to properly process his loss. The other survivor is suddenly plunged into a confusing, chaotic world without a parental figure to support him and no way for such a young mind to comprehend why this is happening to him. 

But don’t worry, dear reader.  Ten years later, while shuffling through old documents in order to prepare for renegotiating a peace treaty, Namikaze Minato will find the note from Iwa no Juri, and everything will change.

[marvelmymarvel]

Shattered Glass

Orochimaru x Reader

Synopsis: Mitsuki wasn't allowed to be in the lab, more for his safety than anything else. But when he breaks something with you not around, how will his father react instead?

Naruto Masterlist: Here

A crash sounded out in the lab causing Orochimaru to jump. His eyes scanned around the room, trying to figure out what it was that broke. More importantly, how did it break?

"Uh oh," a small voice called out.

Orochimaru relaxed a little knowing that it was his toddler's fault but tensed up when he realized you were nowhere in sight. "Suki. Where's mama?" Orochimaru called out as he walked swiftly to the toddler. He tried his best to sound soft and kind, but he knew his words sounded sharp.

Rounding the corner, he saw Mitsuki standing there with his hands behind his back, pale eyes taking in the way the shards of glass scattered along the laminated tile. His eyes flicked up to his father's and while he knew his father wouldn't yell, he couldn't help but feel his body shake in fear.

Orochimaru tsk'd quietly to himself at the sight of his son shaking, but moved slowly towards him anyway in fear of making him cry. "It's okay. It was an accident" Orochimaru stated, hand coming down to pat softly onto the child's small head. He knelt then to start gathering up the larger pieces, "Can you go get the broom for me?"

Mitsuki nodded before racing off towards the broom in the corner, excited to help his father even if it was for cleaning up the mess he made. "Suki?!" Orochimaru's head shot up as he heard your panicked calls from the hallway.

"He's in here my love"

Within seconds, you appeared in the doorway. Hair messy and face contorted into one of pure panic until your eyes settled on the child. A sigh of relief flew from your lips as you scooped the child up from the floor, letting the broom fall from his hands in the process. It went tumbling down, knocking over a few more glasses in its wake. More shattering sounded out but you didn't care as you cuddled deeper into the toddler.

"Don't you dare run from me like that again! I was worried sick!"

Orochimaru sighed quietly as he took in the 5 beakers that you broke. While the child looked like him, Mitsuki's coordination skills were all you. "You should be more careful" he muttered as he stood and threw away the large pieces of glass. Your cheeks heated up at his statement as you finally looked down at the mess you had made.

Shooting a sheepish smile his way, you set Mitsuki down on the lab table and bent down to pick up the broom. "Sorry about that-"

Orochimaru caught the broom from you as you straightened out. "No need. Are you hurt?" It didn't matter how long you two had been together, when he was this close to you you always lost your cool. He smirked at your flustered face, he figured it was payment for him cleaning up after you.

"No..." your eyes trailed to Mitsuki and landed on the hand that he was hiding. "Mitsu..." you started, sidestepping Orochimaru to get closer to your son. He wouldn't look at you, and you knew why.

"Let me see it" you stated firmly and finally he brought his hand out from behind his back. You hissed at the cut on his palm, it would heal but you knew it had to have hurt like hell.

"Oh, honey" you whispered pitifully before looking at Orochimaru with pleading eyes. While he hasn't used his medical ninjutsu in a long time, this was something he could fix with little to no effort. Orochimaru cocked his head before stepping forward and grabbing the child's hand. Light flew from his fingers and ghosted above the cut which caused Mitsuki to whimper as the skin mended itself. But it was over soon and all that was left to fix were the two messes that you and your son caused.

Orochimaru looked at you before turning back to Mitsuki, now that the boy was old enough Orochimaru figured he could learn to be careful in the lab. "Now Mitsuki-"

"Gentler" you cut in, knowing that the tone he was going to take wouldn't help.

Orochimaru nodded before clearing his throat. "Mitsuki, you have to be careful when you're in here. As you can see, it's very easy to get hurt and I don't want that to happen. Can you promise to be more careful next time?"

Mitsukis eyes were wide at just how gentle his father sounded. He looked at you over his father's shoulder, confusion evident on his face. You nodded in a way that encouraged him to answer, this was indeed his father. It wasn't a trap. "Yes, Father" Mitsuki stated finally.

Orochimaru smiled before pressing a kiss to the top of his forehead. "Now why don't you go play outside with your mother? I hear it's a beautiful day outside?"

Mitsuki agreed and hopped down from the table. He grabbed your hand and began pulling you out, but before he could pull you out of the room entirely, you threw a loving glance over your shoulder. You were so proud of Maru for becoming such a kind person, even if it was just to you and Mitsuki.

The lab door closing left Orochimaru once more in silence and he sighed at the state of his lab. 'It was worth it though' he thought as he bent down to sweet up the glass. Because without the two of you, there would be no mess for him to clean up.

And that is what he loved the most.

[seoheesoo]

Modern AU! Kakashi is Naruto's guardian who meets his child's teacher for the first time and immediately falls in love with him

[Part 4]

The bar that Kakashi chose was quite good. Kakashi glanced at the figure of the man sitting next to him. Guy was dressed in a dark, fitted suit that emphasized his broad shoulders. Hatake bit his lower lip and took a sip of strong whiskey.

“Tell me a little about yourself?” - he asked Guy after the bartender placed their drinks in front of them.

Guy grabbed the glass with his fingertips and smiled at him from the corner of his lips.

“My dad and I moved here, to Yokohama, when I was about five,” - the man slowly began the story. - “After my mother’s death, there was no point in staying in our old city. Dad wanted to start a new life, wanted my childhood to last a little longer. After moving, I went to a local school. The children immediately disliked me. Every day they picked on me for different reasons. You know how cruel children can be.”

Kakashi nodded. He listened carefully to Guy's story.

“They constantly talked about my dad, and I, like the most innocent fool, fell for all their jokes. But I couldn't do anything against them. I wasn’t a good fighter.”

Guy grinned.

“Then, about two months later, I got into the biggest fight ever. Everything could have ended very badly, but suddenly someone stood up for me. A student three grades older than me, whom I had never seen before, and thought that he didn’t notice me either. He protected me and has always been by my side since that day.”

Kakashi looked at the man's figure and couldn't believe that he had ever been bullied at school. But, apparently, this is what prompted him to become so strong.

“His name is Genma,” - Kakashi heard after a short pause.

“Sorry, what?”

“My best friend, who protected me in school,” - Guy explained. - “His name is Genma.”

Hatake frowned and lowered his glass onto the bar counter.

“Shiranui?”

Guy nodded.

“I know you work together,” - Guy continued. - “Genma told me today.”

Kakashi tapped his fingers on the bar counter excitedly. How long had Shiranui known about this? And why didn't he tell him? Kakashi exhaled in annoyance. If Genma was Guy's childhood friend, then Kakashi was afraid to even imagine what he could do to him during their meeting tomorrow. Kakashi had known Genma for eight years and was well aware of what Shiranui was capable of.

“Is that so?” - Kakashi drained his glass and didn’t even wince.

Suddenly he felt Guy's warm hand on his arm. Hatake looked over at the man and saw his reassuring smile.

“Can I hear a story about you?”

Kakashi couldn't refuse Guy. He thought that there was probably no question that Guy could ask him and he would refuse him. Not in this universe.

“As you already know, I work with Shiranui,” - Kakashi began to say, mentally thanking Guy for not removing his hand. - “My father also worked in the Defence Intelligence Office, as I do now. One day he went on a mission and did not return home. I was informed about this by the chief, Hiruzen Sarutobi. After my father's funeral, I was supposed to meet with my uncle, but Jiraiya Ji-san was working somewhere abroad at that time. And it so happened that I ended up with the only person I knew in the city - my uncle’s student, Namikaze Minato. Minato nii-san was only nineteen years old when twelve-year-old me fell on his head. Being still quite young himself, Minato nii-san had no idea how to raise me. I didn't make it easy for him either, I was a terrible kid growing up. I constantly argued with my classmates, and even got into fights several times. The only friends who haven't turned their backs on me in all these years are Obito and Rin. I still keep in touch with them. Time passed, Minato nii-san himself joined the Defence Intelligence Office. When I turned eighteen, I moved out from him and also submitted documents to his department. By that time he had already become captain. A couple of months later, Minato nii-san married Kushina-san. They had a modest wedding and moved into a small house. I often visited them. A year later Naruto was born. Even my uncle was able to come briefly for his birthday. It seemed that everything was going as well as possible. Naruto grew up as a healthy and happy child. After some time, I heard a conversation between Minato nii-san and Kushina-san about how they want to have a second child. Naruto was three years old by then. That same year, Minato nii-san was promoted to major. And a week later, he and Kushina-san were found dead not far from their home.”

Kakashi fell silent. Guy squeezed his hand supportively in his palm.

“According to the official version, they died in a car accident, but all the details of their death are classified. Even after all these years, I still cannot access these documents. That day I picked Naruto up from kindergarten because the teacher couldn't reach Kushina-san on the phone. Naruto seemed to feel that something bad had happened, he was capricious and cried all evening. When I was finally able to put him to bed, I received a call from Shiranui, who was on duty at the department that evening. I couldn't leave Naruto alone and go to the hospital, so I called Obito and told him everything. He and Rin arrived immediately and stayed with Naruto while I went to the hospital. But by the time I got there, Minato nii-san and Kushina-san had already passed away. I stood in the middle of the hospital listening to the doctor's explanations, but I was only thinking about how I could explain all this to Naruto. As soon as I returned home, Obito took me to Minato nii-san's office and handed me a folder with documents. As it turned out, shortly before their death, nii-san and Kushina-san made a will, and indicated me as Naruto's guardian. From that evening I stayed at their house and I was the one who talked to Naruto about everything that happened. Obito and Rin helped me with the funeral preparations. And then at the funeral itself, Hiruzen Sarutobi took me aside and strongly recommended that I relinquish guardianship of Naruto. According to him, this could not end well. His parents have already died, and I work in the same department as his father, it follows that the same fate can await me. But I couldn’t even think about handing Naruto over to someone. I couldn't imagine Naruto among strangers. I was his family and I couldn't give him up. He was my child according to documents. Minato nii-san and Kushina-san wanted me to take care of their son. And I couldn't let them down. I took Naruto, sold their house and bought a spacious apartment. It was difficult in the first months, but after a while Naruto and I were able to get used to our new life. I will not replace his parents, and I do not strive for this. His parents were wonderful people and I want him to remember them and be proud of them. My only goal at the moment is to give Naruto the happy childhood that his father once gave me.”

Guy listened to Kakashi with bated breath. Hatake cleared his throat in embarrassment and renewed his order with the bartender. Turning to the man, Kakashi saw admiration in his eyes.

“You are amazing,” - Guy said enchanted.

Kakashi felt a blush cover his cheeks.

“You are a wonderful person and a great big brother. Naruto is lucky to have you.”

Kakashi smiled at Guy gratefully.

“Hmm, by the way, I’m also a father,” - the man suddenly said.

Kakashi raised one eyebrow questioningly.

“I have children too,” - Guy continued.

"Children?" - Hatake asked without hiding the surprise in his voice.

Guy nodded.

"Three."

"THREE?"

“Do you want to see a photo?”

“Yes, of course.”

Guy pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Kakashi. Hatake looked at the photo carefully. The photograph showed three children who appeared to be about ten years old. On the left stood a boy in a green jacket and tousled black hair, who looked in surprise at the girl standing in the middle. The girl was dressed in a red sweater, her big brown eyes were looking somewhere behind the camera, and her lips were stretched into a smile. To the right of the girl stood a boy with long dark hair, dressed in a gray jacket. His unusually light gray eyes also looked at the girl.

“This is Neji, TenTen and Lee,” - Guy named each child in turn.

“Are they all yours?” - Kakashi looked from the photograph to the man, trying to discern similar facial features.

Guy smiled softly.

“Now - yes, I adopted them.”

Hatake opened his mouth slightly in surprise.

“I met them on my first day at school,” - Guy began to say. - “They ended up in my class. Then after class I saw them at the sports club where I worked as a boxing coach. They came there and looked so lost. I couldn't help but pay attention to them. And I also couldn't help but notice the bruises that were almost unsuccessfully hidden under their clothes. There were finger bruises on their arms and necks, as if someone had forcibly held them down and caused them pain. That same day I contacted my friend Kurenai, she is a children's rights ombudsman. As it turned out, all three did not have a very favorable atmosphere in their families. They were subjected to physical and psychological abuse. It was hard for me to stay away after all the information I learned. At first I tried to meet with their families, but this did not yield any results. Days passed, the children continued to come to the sports club, and I began to teach them simple self-defense techniques. At the same time, I did not give up trying to somehow help them. One day, Kurenai approached me with the idea of adoption. I won’t hide that such thoughts came into my head, but I tried not to delve into this topic. I wasn’t sure that I could raise all three children, but at the same time, I never thought about adopting just one. I couldn't separate them, they were always together. And despite the fact that they were not siblings, they became a real family for each other. After some thought, I finally made a decision. The conversation with the children was long and too emotional.”

“How did you manage to adopt three children at once?”

“Kurenai's husband, Asuma, helped me, he works as a policeman. He connected his connections, and in the end all this sped up the matter. The adoption process itself took about six to seven months. And for two years now I have been considered their father.”

Kakashi shook his head in admiration.

“How can you be like this,” - he whispered barely audibly. - “Damn, Guy…”

“Yes?”

Kakashi stopped himself before something stupid could come out of his mouth, like: “Marry me.”

“Is it probably time for you to go home? It’s late,” - Kakashi glanced at his watch. - “I’ll also go to Obito and Rin and pick up Naruto.”

“Yes, you’re right,” - Guy pulled money out of his wallet and put it on the bar counter.

The men left the bar, night had already fallen on the street. Kakashi stared at the man's profile.

“Do you think we can see each other again, maybe next time with the kids?”

Guy looked at him in amazement and smiled broadly. Kakashi couldn't contain himself any longer. He covered the distance and covered his plump lips with his own. Guy stood stunned for a couple of seconds, but then deepened the kiss. Kakashi smiled.

“Thank you for the evening,” - Hatake whispered against the man’s lips and pulled away.

Guy nodded, looking at the man in fascination.

“Text me when you get home,” - Kakashi waved his hand and disappeared around the bend.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5 Part 6

[maoam]

I hope you're alright.

U know how the fandom view kakashi right? The guy with the most tragic past in the whole show, one of the best senseis in anime history and is extremely wise and and wins every battle. yeah?

But not everything they claim him to be is true right? Like he's called wise but to me I never really saw that, the times he was meant to be wise like when he told twelve year old sasuke to give up on revenge... yea, wasn't the best advice to give since their pasts are different? As for them claiming he is op, didn't he have to be saved from Zabuza, which was like the first serious battle of the arc and part 1 of naruto?

Him having a tragic past yea I agree w that, but it never made him think of the system and how it was wrong? He's just content to follow with whatever.

And him being one of the best senseis in anime history, like I'm sorry but he didn't understand any of his three students, was blind to sakura's faults, didn't help sasuke with anything ( apart from teaching him chidori), projected on sasuke waayy too much, knew the truth about the massacre and did nothing w that information? ( unless I missed a bit where he did).

Idk this is just my opinion. What do you think of him? Thanks.

Him as a teacher is whatever for me, I mean he teaches Sasuke some things in part 1, and teaches Naruto couple things in part 2, but he is admittedly lacking in that department. The sannins take over his role in part 1 already.

As for why he is popular, one reason is because he is superficially a cool character, he is hyped up a lot, he has "1000 jutsus", he has sharingan, he has a tragic backstory, he also hides his face so even that is a mystery about him. Him reading erotica books is something people find funny, because it seemingly contradicts with his outer appearance. He is also a mentor character and those tend to become popular since young people find mentors reliable figures they would want in their own lives.

But yeah he doesn't really fight much despite all the hype, some fanboys also point out that his track record during the story is small compared to what one would expect.

What I dislike about his character is that he's a passive victim who never questions their system. His father killed himself because his community was brainwashed by Konoha's mentality, one of his teammates died as a child soldier, and another seemingly died as well. And that's not all, one of his students was a victim of a decades long alienating policy and a genocide and another of his students was a human container for monster that were seen as tools used for war so that the villages could profit from it. Yet he accepted it and submitted to it. And of course the fandom glorify this because what they care about is drawing flower crowns on their favorite characters and pretending the story is about kittens and puppies and not oppression. They don't like to see characters negatively and uncomfortably affected by injustice, unless it lasts like one arc and they are back to cracking jokes.

What makes it worse is that he does see it, he sees why Sasuke is the way he is, because of their world, yet his solution is to get rid of Sasuke instead of the system.

Generally, I don't think there is anything admirable about letting oppressors walk over you and putting up with it. It's sad if anything.

He is also hypocritical. When Sasuke's revenge was only consisting of killing Itachi, Kakashi was already against it, despite the fact Itachi killed not only Sasuke's family but his whole clan. And yet when Team 10 wanted to avenge Asuma, he was all for it, he even went to help. Is it because Asuma is someone Kakashi personally cared for? Because that's not a good look.

I also hate how he handles Sakura with kid gloves. I understand a character was needed to do this, because despite the fact Sakura is supposed to be an unlikeable person she is still part of the main cast and can't be outrightly condemned. There needs to be someone justifying her nonsense. But it doesn't change the fact it's annoying and doesn't make me favor Kakashi's character. A good example is when he tries to speak for Sakura, and he says to Sasuke that Sakura wants to save him eventhough he tried to kill her. He is of course conveniently omitting the fact Sakura came there to kill Sasuke herself. Lol.

Sakura isn't the type to brag or hurt others?

First arc.

Last arc. Yeah, no bragging to be found...

I don't think I need to add every single scene where Sakura has beaten Naruto up or berated him.

And to add to Kakashi's passiveness, he became a Hokage to warm the seat for Naruto because Obito wanted him to, like come on.

[ecargmura]

The Yuzuki Family's Four Sons Episode 7 Review - How They Met

This episode is the story of how Minato and Uta met, but told through Mikoto’s perspective. So, does that mean this is technically a Mikoto episode that became a Minato one? It does kind of suck that Mikoto’s screen time diminished because of him telling this story. Well, it’s not that having more Minato screen-time is bad, but it would’ve been better if they had this story told through Minato’s perspective and not Mikoto’s; I’m saying this because it feels weird that Mikoto is telling this story as if he knew everything that happened via Minato’s viewpoints.

Gripes aside, the way it was handled was actually well-written. Minato and Uta were like kindred spirits in a way. Minato lost his parents recently while Uta’s family had a divorce. They both had to deal with separation but both handled it in different ways. Because Minato still had his brothers and that the accident was so sudden and abrupt, the Yuzuki brothers had to adapt, adjust and deal with the new changes in their lives instantaneously. Even Minato said it in this episode, that if one person feels sad, then the whole house will feel gloomy. That is why they try and keep their spirits up because of this. However, in the case of Uta, she was unable to process the divorce and blamed everything on Saki. While Minato was sad, but still optimistic about his situation, Uta was angry, frustrated and rather pessimistic about hers.

Minato seriously does have a good heart. The way he saw Saki crying over Uta’s sudden change and then berated Uta for making her sad was a real good-boy move. He understands the preciousness of having parents. He was being the mature one here. He was yelling at Uta and telling her that she can still talk about her issues to her mom because she still has her while he doesn’t anymore. Even at ten years old, Minato understands and accepts the changes in his life, as Hayato says.

Wow, Studio Shuka should try adapting a battle shounen manga. The way they animated the fight between Minato and Uta was super well-animated. It reminded me of the first Naruto vs Sasuke fight back in OG Naruto and Kakashi vs Obito n terms of raw hand-to-hand combat fights. It’s been a while since I’ve seen such combat animated super well. The way they animated the movements between these two kids was so fluid that I thought this story was headed into a different genre for a second.

Uta’s trashy father is voiced by JUN FUKUYAMA! Holy crap. They seriously got high quality voice actors to voice the side characters and even one-off minor characters like Uta’s dad. Despite that, I’m glad that Saki decided to separate from him but I was mad at Uta for blaming her mom for the whole situation. I know that Uta was probably too young to grasp the fact that her father was blatantly cheating on Saki in front of her, but still… I’m glad that Uta managed to reform after receiving that deadly headlock from Saki.

Waka is so adorable! He’s such a dopey looking kid and that makes him even more cute! I hope that he gets more screen time. I do like that Uta and Minato’s friendship is a contrast between Waka and Gakuto’s because the latter pair got along instantly while the former pair had their ups and downs before becoming best friends. This also applies to Saki and Hayato’s relationship. Since they moved in with Kojiro, Saki and Hayato have always been confidants.

One last note, I do notice that Hayato and Mikoto seemed to have known Uta was a girl since the beginning while it took her wearing a skirt for Minato to figure out her gender. Hayato knew because he called Uta as Uta-chan; had she been a boy, he would’ve called her Uta-kun. Mikoto is rather observant, so he probably didn’t say anything and just knew all along.

But yeah, it sucks that Mikoto’s supposed screen time was taken away by this flashback. Will he still get an episode dedicated to him in the future? The way he gets fueled by Minato’s tsundereness towards him was hilarious—truly a brocon move. Anyways, what are your thoughts about this episode?

[crystaltrinket]

how i love to see you smile - Naruto - Uchiha Sasuke/Hyuuga Hinata - drabble series for SasuHina Month 2022

[Rating: G | Prompt: Mono no aware - the pathos of things; the gentle wistfulness at the transience of things, and the awareness of the sadness of existence | Word Count: 500 | Warnings: None] @sasuhinamonth

Author's Note: Wow! Not me updating more than 1 year later... in any case, this has been sitting in my drafts for while. I intend to finish this even though 2022 is long over. I hope you don't mind.

[Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7]

[Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14]

[Part 15 |

Sasuke thought it was weird when he saw the usual hawk eyes on him with less killing intent behind him. 

‘What was his name again?’ he thought as his family passed the stoic man and entered the onsen-ji. 

His mother oohed and ahhed as they stepped into the foyer. His father looked around the entrance hall with a meticulous eye. The Hyuuga kept the onsen-ji traditional in a sense that one would think they never advanced past the Meiji era. Sasuke watched him warily, almost ready to jump to defend Hinata if unfavorable judgment passed his lips.

“It is quite beautiful inside,” he father remarked. 

"Isn't it? Oh, I'm so glad I picked it. We'll have a wonderful time!" his mother gushed. 

“Uchiha-san, welcome,” the stoic man they passed earlier greeted them. “I am Ko, at your service.” 

‘Ah, that’s it. Ko. The other bodyguard.’ Sasuke stared at him while Ko regarded him with a small nod. 

“Hinata-sama sends her well-wishes. She is acting in her father’s stead at a conference and won’t be able to see you during your stay, Mikoto-san.” 

A small pout formed on his mother’s face. “It is quite alright, Ko-san. Please send Hinata my regards.” 

Sasuke studied the expression on his mother’s face as she spoke amicably with Hinata’s bodyguard about the onsen-ji’s interior and architecture. His father hummed every so often as they carried their conversation away from the foyer. She was upset, understandably. She saw Hinata as a daughter-figure and had hoped to see her during their visit. 

He knew Hinata wouldn’t be at the onsen-ji during his family’s vacation. She apologized profusely the day she found out she had to attend the conference. 

‘Father wants me to go. He thinks it’ll help me have a better understanding of marketing and management for the future of the onsen-ji.’ 

The corners of his lips slightly dipped at the thought of the Hyuuga clan head. Sasuke inwardly scoffed. ‘Of course, he would.’ The shift in Sasuke’s demeanor was minute but it was enough for his brother to nudge him as Ko led his family to their suite. 

“Chin up, little brother,” Itachi smirked. “The conference will be over before you know it.” 

Sasuke swiftly turned his head, refusing to let his brother see the growing blush on his face. “Tch. I know.” 

—

The weekend spent at the onsen-ji seemed to pass by slowly. From the moment he opened his eyes in the morning til the moment they closed at night, everything reminded him of the lack of Hinata's presence. And try as Ko and the older aunts might, they couldn't replace her. 

Without fail, the older aunts of the onsen-ji offered him onigiri whenever he passed by and even Ko brought out a few tomatoes from Hinata's personal garden. He was touched that Hinata thought of him, even when she was busy herself. 

Sasuke fell back on his bed. His mind raced back to their families' impromptu meeting.

'How can I initiate a merger?'

[ciaossu-imagines]

I was scrolling through  you list of things that hadn’t been done yet for your mini event and saw that Naruto was still up for grabs and then I just thought of such an interesting (and possibly funny) combination. Deidara and the Royalty AU.

C

Of course, dear! Thank you for sending this in - I had fun thinking it out and deciding what direction to go! I hope you'll enjoy the headcanons :)

Okay, so well you did say there are possible funny ways this could be taken and I definitely agree with you on that, that is not exactly the direction this AU turned out. Because, ya know…I'm me and because of that, this is definitely angsty but in a very surprising twist, by the end, the whole thing has also kind of become a love story, something I don't do often so I hope everyone enjoys!

So this AU is set very much, in my mind, in kind of a historically very incorrect medieval style setting. Deidara was born the second son to a very powerful king. As a royal prince, he was raised in extreme wealth and privilege, but because he was the second son, the 'spare', he didn't have as much pressure and expectations put on him.

Now, I do need to properly set up his family though. His mother, the Queen, was very much a subservient woman, taking her husband's lead on everything, and a very bitter woman because honestly, she had never wanted to marry her husband but had been forced to do so because of an arranged woman. She's not terribly loving and really has very little to do with their sons, leaving that largely to tutors and governesses and such, but if anything does come up with her children, she always supports and goes along with what the King decides and wants for his sons.

The King, Deidara's father, is really the most important part of the set-up to this world though. Because I'm trash at naming things, he'll always just be referred to as 'The King' but feel free to give him any name you want in your mind while reading this. The King is really a warrior at heart, is known for his brutality on the battlefield and his hunger for not only battle but conquest. He has made his nation one of war, amassing and leading a huge army in his attempts to take over and conquer various other nations. Attempts that mostly turn out in his favour and he has subjugated many nations.

Deidara's brother, and Deidara himself, grow up with war, battle, death being a very real and normal thing to them. And while Deidara isn't pushed quite as much as his brother to become a true warrior, there is still that expectation, pressure and demand from his father to learn to respect the art of battle and killing.

Deidara, because of the privilege he does grow up in, does become a little spoiled, especially as his father does teach him to view the servants, the tutors, everyone who is not royal or a high-ranking member of the army, as very much inferior to Deidara himself. Deidara gets a fabulous education, learning history, strategy, tactics, arithmetic, how to read and write, cartography…you name it, the prince is taught at least the basics. Of course, because of his father's demand, Deidara is taught to fight, both boxing and swordsmanship. He's taught to ride a horse. And, especially important to Deidara, who grows to really love it and to adore his tutor for this subject, Deidara is taught art and culture at his mother's tentative request to her husband.

As Deidara grows older, his father's expectations for him do grow to be more strict and I will say that I do see the relationship between Deidara's father and his children to be an abusive one on many levels. Like, there will be times when The King comes across one of Deidara's boxing lessons and he sees Deidara take a blow that The King figures he should have been able to easily duck…Deidara not only hears about it later, but does get physically very much punished by his father, who doesn't stop beating the child until he's satisfied Deidara can duck ninety percent of his blows. Or The King sits in on one of Deidara's swordsmanship lessons and while the boy does get his opponent, his tutor at that time, to yield, The King gets pissed by how much mercy Deidara shows the tutor, even going so far as to turn his back on his opponent once Deidara thinks he has the win, and does demand his son full out kill his tutor to learn not to show any mercy. Besides, tutors can always be replaced, The King teaches Deidara.

But even with all the abuse, I do think Deidara does love his father, respects him, wants to please him. And even if the abuse gets really bad at times, Deidara is really close to his brother, who always treats him well, and he always has his daily art lessons to look forward to.

Deidara really does flourish as an artist. It's something he lives and breathes and loves; it's something that relaxes him and takes him out of even the worst moments, makes everything okay. His art teacher really becomes a huge mentor to Deidara and almost a father-like figure to him. Even throughout the years, even as Deidara grows older and his father demands more and more from the boy, art is always his safe place, with sculpting being a real passion of Deidara's.

But all those safe places for Deidara? They vanish in his early teens when, on the campaign to conquer the distant land of Uclary, his brother dies in battle. Not only does Deidara lose one of his precious sources of comfort and has to grieve his beloved brother, but his brother's death makes Deidara the new heir apparent and The King's expectations grow even more brutal. Deidara now has no choice but to become a full-fledged warrior and to make sure his son knows that, The King makes Deidara sacrifice the thing he knows his son loves the most…Deidara is forced, under the eye of The King, to slaughter not only his precious art tutor and mentor, but the man's entire family.

I think it's around this time that Deidara comes across some of the soldiers goofing off a little, stealing and using some of the army's supply of gunpowder to create fireworks and little explosions. Grieving so much but with no choice but to become almost a soulless killer to satisfy his father, Deidara really seizes upon those fireworks, finds so much beauty in those, an art in the explosions and he demands the soldiers teach him the art of explosives.

Deidara becomes an expert in explosives that are not only deadly, and help on the battlefield, but are colourful, beautiful, works of art in his opinion. It's only through focusing on this new art that he is able to survive.

The war with Uclary rages on for years, neither side really winning. It's when Deidara turns nineteen, after years now of being the perfect soldier, commanding armies, killing thousands, seeing thousands of his own soldiers die, that his world gets turned upside down once again.

Instead of the war with Uclary continuing, it turns out The King had decided to meet with the queen of Uclary and a compromise had been drawn. The two lands would join forces and co-exist as ruling countries, in a tentative agreement, through the marriage of both of their heirs. Deidara not only views this very much as his beloved father growing soft, but he hates his new betrothed on principal.

Deidara cannot get over this betrayal and, because his father's approval is all he has ever really wanted, Deidara seeks to bring sense to his father, to get The King to realize that he had become too soft, that Deidara was the perfect son, not soft at all, and that The King need not bow down. Deidara would not let the war against Uclary die, not until they were completely under his kingdom's control so, on the night before they were to be wed, Deidara kidnaps his own betrothed, planning on making them accompany and help him with precious intel as Deidara plots to single-handly bring down the court of Uclary. He figures once he takes down the Queen and her court and servants, he'll kill his betrothed and gain full control of the country, which he can then turn over as a fitting gift for his father. The King cannot think Deidara weak after that.

And I really see this story being of Deidara really trying to fight that war himself, his betrothed by his side. They fight, they bicker, but through the story, the two of them learn to first find common ground, to grow a grudging respect towards each other, then to understand each other, to like each other and then to truly fall in love with each other and his betrothed helps Deidara not only process some of that childhood trauma and abuse but helps him properly grieve, as he helps them with their issues and in the end, I see them both abdicating their thrones to travel the world together.

[lavender-long-stories]

✿ Monday Sneak Peaks ✿

Ladybug One Shot ItaHina ✿ New

“I thought I had my life figured out.” Itachi voiced. It was a stupid thing to say, but it was what was on his mind. Hinata pressed her lips together as she loaded a plate for him and another for herself. Why was he saying any of this to her? She came over to give him dinner because she felt bad not to hear him lament. “Life never turns out much like we think it will be.”

A Kiss Between Strangers Chapter 2 GaaHina ✿ Ongoing

A giggle passed through the store. To Gaara, it sounded like a dream he couldn’t stop having. He looked up from the onions, and he saw the ghost of long dark hair disappear through the exit, and he wondered briefly if that was her, the girl from the beach.

Guarding Affections Chapter 27 KisaHina ✿ Ongoing

Hinata leaned back in her seat as everyone focused on the performance on stage. “Are you going to glare at him all night?” Kisame grumbled as he knelt down to her side. “He knew full well who you were the whole time, and he didn’t tell me.”

The Best Revenge Chapter 10 ShikaHina ✿ Ongoing

Shikamaru rolled his neck toward her. “Are you ready for the opening?” “No.” Hinata voiced honestly. “I’m dreading facing him.” “Your father or Naruto.” Shikamaru wondered.

Riding Hearts Chapter 5 Akatsuki x Hinata ✿ Ongoing

Sasori sidestepped and looked through the glass at her. “How did you know that?” “I don’t know.” Hinata hummed and tilted her head. “Maybe I worked in a jewelry store? I can’t imagine I had one. They are very expensive. It seems wasteful to wear that much money.”

Red Memories Chapter 25 SasuHina ✿ Ongoing

“Can I?” Lee’s hand hovered. Hinata moved her hand so he could feel it. “They aren’t very active today.” “They will get there!” He assured her as he rubbed his hand over her bump like it was lucky. “I can’t wait for kids. Sakura will be the most beautiful mother.”

Why Is It Always You? Chapter 20 SasuHina ✿ Ongoing

Sasuke's heart dropped as Hinata gave him the most miserable look and turned back to her trek home. What broke her?

Another one-shot??

There might be more coming. ( > _ > )

[warsfate]

" Kushina . . . - okaasan . . . Will you . . . Let me hold Naruto for a little while? " She looks exhausted and he knows losing Minato is taking a toll on her too, they are both grieving and Naruto is the one brightness that they have but, he can see how tired she is from caring for the baby that looks so much like Minato - sensei that it hurts. " I'll hold him so you can take a nap . . . You need some rest too . . . " He's just a kid himself really, trying to be so mature to help someone that he has really started seeing as a mother figure just as he saw Minato as a father figure, it was obvious in how he'd called her okaasan, even if it had come off his tongue so awkwardly and unsure ( he didn't want to lose her too ). " Just . . . Just show me how to hold him properly . . . ? "

kakashi had grown up so much since then, the times when she’d watched over him as he and minato had sparred. he had adored minato and the sadness in him is as evident as it was in her, if only one knew where to look for it.  kushina cooed to naruto, her son; he reminded her so much of his father. mourning had to be quiet, had to be covert; her sadness was too profound and sometimes she found a solitary tear would shed, in spite of how she tried to hold them back.  “  ah,  but you’ve already done so much today.”  she smiled, it was a tired sort of smile. “ but maybe if you hold him for just a moment i can get us all some dinner,  hm ?  how does that sound.”  she lowered naruto tentatively into his awaiting arms, adjusting them so they were cradling her child, kakashi’s brother. “  you have to make sure his head is supported, alright ?  got him ? ”  naruto made a content noise, clenching his tiny fist into kakashi’s shirt.  “  he likes you -  likes you alot.” “  naruto is very lucky to have a big brother like you kakashi. ”  minato would be so proud. she held that bit in silence, close to her chest ;  he was not the only one who was proud of him after all.

[fallenqueen2]

@shikanaruevent​ SFW Bingo Square: Mythical

-Based off of the fact that in the show and in the movie ‘The Will of Fire’, Shikamaru could see Asuma’s ghost.

Ao3

“You know when I saw Asuma the first time? I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me, trying to give me some sort of closure.” Shikamaru mused aloud, staring at the other side of the Shogi board.

“I could explain that away, but this? You?” Shikamaru rubbed the side of his head while sighing.

“I had hoped after so many generations that this particular bloodline trait had gone dormant,” Shikaku said apologetically, transparent finger touching a piece for Shikamaru to move for him.

“I can see why you didn’t tell me, after all. Who would want to hear that they are descended from one of the original Reapers? What child would want to know that at some point they will be able to see the ghost of someone they loved.” Shikamaru moved the piece for his dead father and wasn’t that the weirdest thing Shikamaru had ever done?

“I’m afraid that now that you are older and stronger, you won’t just be able to see the spirits of those you love, but others as well. I would avoid the Uchiha district.” Shikaku advised as Shikamaru made his move, arms crossing over his bloodstained fur vest. Shikamaru shuddered at the idea of seeing a district full of slaughtered Uchihas.

“What could you do?” Shikamaru asked, his father was one of the strongest Nara’s before he died.

“I could see and interact with every ghost in Konoha. I could even help ease the recently deceased into the light like our ancestors before. I was strong, but you have the potential to be even stronger,” Shikaku leaned forward, arms slipping through the Shogi board as he stared his son down intently.

“What if I don’t want to?” Shikamaru asked quietly, he was so sick of death after the war. He was grateful he could still see and interact with his dead father and sensei, but a whole village full of dead people?

“I’m afraid you won’t have a choice son, you have started giving off vibrations that will draw spirits towards you. I will do my best to teach you, but you will have to be strong and learn the ways of our ancestors.” Shikaku said apologetically.

“Fantastic,” Shikamaru dropped his head down onto the Shogi board with a huge sigh that made his father laugh and a cool sensation shot through Shikamaru’s head as his father patted his head with his transparent hand.

~~//~~

Shikamaru trudged through the village, hands shoved in his pockets as he kept his head down. He could see a lot more transparent figures along the streets than he had a month ago, his father was a strict drill master when it came to training this new bloodline power that Shikamaru had unlocked.

“Shikamaru!” A familiar, bubbly voice rang out and Shikamaru couldn’t help but smile as he turned on his heel, hand raising to greet Naruto. Shikamaru faltered when he noticed 3 ghosts following close behind Naruto. Shikamaru swallowed and did his best not to make eye contact with the ghosts of Jiraiya, Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki.

“Hey Naruto, you just get back from a mission?” Shikamaru asked casually, noting the black under-suit that came from the ANBU uniform with his old dark orange and black jacket zipped up over the top half.

Kakashi had told Shikamaru that Naruto had joined ANBU, the blond had wanted to understand every aspect of the village before he became Hokage and that included ANBU. Kakashi had promised Shikamaru that the blond would be partnered with Ro and Soku, which made Shikamaru relax knowing the two ANBU he had worked with before would make sure Naruto would survive ANBU.

“Yup! I was looking for you everywhere!” Naruto beamed as he bounced on his feet next to Shikamaru.

“Oh yeah?” Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, determinedly ignoring the way Kushina was fussing over Naruto as she tried to tame the blond’s growing spiky hair in a way that reminded him of his mother.

“It’s been ages since we hung out! Are you busy? We can get ramen or we can train or just hang out?” Naruto trailed off quietly, fiddling with the hem of his jacket as his blue eyes darted around, suddenly seeming embarrassed. Shikamaru felt his love and fondness for the blond bubble up in his chest.

“Ramen sounds good,” Shikamaru selected Naruto’s favourite thing and was rewarded with a smile that could outshine the sun. Shikamaru laughed softly when Naruto grabbed his hand and began to drag him toward Ichiraku.

Shikamaru could almost forget about the three hovering ghostly parents that surrounded them as the two dug into their ramen bowls at the bar of Ichiraku. Naruto cheerfully slurped down his ramen and Shikamaru watched amused and fond, he didn’t think he could ever get tired watching the way Naruto could inhale ramen the way he did.

“Aww Minato, this reminds me of our first date! The little Nara even has the same smitten look you did!” Kushina grinned making Shikamaru choke on his next bite.

“Shikamaru!” Naruto cried out, rubbing the other man’s back with a worried look on his face.

“I’m fine, I’m fine. Just went down wrong is all, thanks Naruto.” Shikamaru rasped out, smiling when Naruto thrust a glass of water into his hands.

“Speaking of smitten, our son has the same in-love look you have when I choked on my ramen during our first date. ” Minato shot back smugly and Shikamaru did his best not to choke on the water at those words, his eyes darting to Naruto. The blond did have a soft, adoring if not worried look on his face as he watched Shikamaru making sure he was okay.

“Something is up with this kid,” Jiraiya rumbled as he shifted through the bar to stand directly in front of Shikamaru. Shikamaru did his best not to stare back as he reassured Naruto he was fine.

“Hmmm,” Jiraiya hummed loudly before he swiped his hand through Shikamaru’s face. Shikamaru startled, almost falling off of his stool as goosebumps erupted over his body at the cool touch that he came from a ghost interacting with him.

“Whoa! Shikamaru! Are you sure you’re okay?” Naruto leapt from his stool, arm sliding behind Shikamaru’s back with worry bright in his blue eyes.

“I’m okay, really Naruto. I’m okay,” Shikamaru promised while Jiraiya’s mouth dropped open and he pointed dramatically at him.

“Of course! You’re a Nara! Your bloodline! Holy shit! Minato, Kushina, the little Nara can see us!!” Jiraiya shouted, startling the other two who instantly crowded closer to their son and Shikamaru.  

“For fucks sake,” Shikamaru muttered under his breath before gripping Naruto’s hand.

“I need to tell you something, can we go back to your place after?” Shikamaru asked Naruto. The blond blinked in confusion before nodding seriously, he recognized the look Shikamaru was sporting.

“Of course, let me just pay okay?” Naruto squeezed Shikamaru’s shoulder before slowly releasing the Nara.

“You startled the little Nara!” Kushina patted Shikamaru’s head, sending a shiver down his spine.

“I’m sorry about my sensei Shikamaru,” Minato rubbed the back of his neck as he smiled at Shikamaru who inclined his head in silent understanding.

Minato’s eyes widened before he grinned, the smile was just as bright as his son’s and Shikamaru wasn’t sure how he was supposed to handle all this sunlight. He was a shadow and his bloodline made him even darker than any of his Shadow Jutsu could, but the shadows that had crept ever closer since Shikamaru started training his Reaper side, were being forced back by the Uzumaki-Namikaze’s.

“You’re worrying me Shikamaru, you keep spacing out.” Naruto nudged Shikamaru when he finished paying, but the Nara simply just kept staring off into space.

“Let’s go and I’ll explain everything.” Shikamaru sighed, his father had told him that this was his secret to keep or share. Naruto was one of the most important people in his life and was his Hokage, so it was only logical that Shikamaru shares his Reaper bloodline with him. Besides, he deserved to know that his parents and sensei were still watching out for him. Shikamaru decided against letting Sasuke know how many Uchiha’s were stalking his every step, now of which included his older brother.

Chouji and Ino of course knew, their clans were intertwined and the first person outside of his father and sensei Shikamaru could see was Ino’s father. How could he not tell them and relay messages between father and daughter?

Shikamaru had spaced out again, he was brought back to the present by Naruto tugging his hand, their fingers interlaced which brought a blush to Shikamaru’s pale cheeks.

“My place sound okay?” Naruto asked softly, concern shining bright in his eyes and Shikamaru could just feel his blush increasing.

“Sounds good, thanks,” Shikamaru murmured and let Naruto lead him down the streets, blocking out the chatter from both the living and the dead. His father had said he would need a grounding point and the warm, calloused hand of Naruto was what Shikamaru could focus on now.

The walk to Naruto’s apartment was quiet, but comfortable Kushina berated Jiraiya for startling Shikamaru while Minato followed them with worry in his eyes, mirroring the worry in Naruto’s matching blue eyes.

They settled inside Naruto’s apartment and Shikamaru let out a soft breath, feeling much more relaxed with Naruto at his side and only 3 ghosts nearby. Being able to see both the living and dead was overwhelming at times and it was even more exhausting than doing work as the Hokage’s aid at times.

“I don’t know how to tell you this without you thinking I’m crazy,” Shikamaru said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“We fought the Goddess of Chakra and I have a Buji sealed inside of me, not to mention we fought next to re-animated dead Hokages. I highly doubt anything you have to tell me will make me think you’re crazy.” Naruto pointed out, lips tilting up in amusement when Shikamaru sent him a deadpanned look.

“Just be blunt!” Kushina advised from where she was sitting next to her son.

“I can see ghosts.” Shikamaru blurted out.

“Maybe not that blunt.” Minato winced slightly as Naruto’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped.

“That’s so COOL!” Naruto cheered, bouncing in place before slapping his hands on the table to lean forward. Shikamaru blinked in surprise at the outright cheer Naruto was displaying.

“Is it a Nara thing? Is that why you guys work with Shadows?” Naruto asked rapidly before falling silent when Shikamaru held his hand up, unable to stop himself from smiling.

“That’s part of it, apparently the first Nara was one of the Shinigami’s first Reapers. That power grew diluted as time went on, but my dad says it's strong in me.” Shikamaru admitted and Naruto nodded in understanding, as if talking about Shikamaru’s dead father was normal.

“Why are you telling me? This sounds like a clan secret…” Naruto sat back, biting his bottom lip.

“I trust you,” Shikamaru said simply, ignoring the way Kushina cooed at the way both young men blushed at the words Shikamaru just spoke.

“When… When did you discover you could see ghosts?” Naruto asked softly.

“I saw Asuma when I was taking out Hidan. I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me, but I saw him again during that mission to save Kakashi…Then after the war, my dad popped across from me in his usual spot to play Shogi with me. That was about a month ago, he’s been training me ever since.” Shikamaru explained quietly, Naruto absorbed the information.

“I’m sorry, as cool as being part Reaper sounds… It must be horrible to see both living and dead.” Naruto said reverently and Shikamaru felt his cheeks burn, Naruto just so simply understood the issue Shikamaru was currently dealing with.

“Exactly and I don’t want this getting out or I’ll have to deal with both the living and the dead a lot more.” Shikamaru shuddered at the idea of people hunting him down both living and dead to help settle some sort of debt or just asking him to find someone for them.

“There is another reason I wanted to tell you… I thought it was only fair for you to know that both your parents and Jiraiya are still with you.” Shikamaru took Naruto’s hand when the blond’s head snapped up, mouth dropping again.

“ Ero-Sennin and my parents?” Naruto whispered in awe.

“They are always by your side,” Shikamaru confirmed while Kushina wrapped her arms around Naruto as Minato nodded his thanks to Shikamaru while Jiraiya messed up Naruto’s hair. Naruto shivered and then jerked in realization.

“The cold spots and when I randomly get cold, is that them?” Naruto asked, eyes getting glassy as tears started to well up.

“That’s them, you were never alone Naruto.” Shikamaru took Naruto’s trembling hands and wasn’t surprised when Naruto burst into silent tears, looking at their interlaced hands like Shikamaru was his salvation.

“Thank you Shikamaru, thank you.” Naruto sniffed before he gave Shikamaru a genuine, soft smile.

“Oh,” Shikamaru realized as he returned the soft smile with one of his own.

[sunmoonandsandsoundtracks]

I just rewatched Naruto classic and i wonder how would it be if shikamaru had a younger sister who gets a crush on Gaara, like she's like "what's the big deal about sasuke common hair colour , common eye color same village boring" but right after that sees Gaara. I find it sort of funny about how shikamaru always ends up at the wrong place at wrong time, like he just gets back from watching Gaara kill two people and sees his sister getting all blushy, cheering for gaara and fighting with ino.(1)

oh, boy. so, i read all your asks, and god knows you gave me plenty to work with. i've tried to include as much as i can, but it's all a little much for one request and i do have others.

that said, when i saw your asks, i swear to god that the clouds opened up and angels sang while heavenly light shone down on me as i thought MY TIME HAS COME! i have never met anyone else who has had this same idea that i've been holding onto for ten years. so i thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. it truly was a joy to write. like i'm super proud of it, because this premise is fucking adorable, and the reader being a nara is the only way i can use all the figurative speech that i do here. you can pry my metaphors/analogies from my cold, three times dead hands.

masterlist

spotify/youtube

word count: 1984 i can't guarantee that all my requests will be this long. it's a question of inspiration. and cut me some slack, this is gaara. if you haven't figured out yet, he's my baby.

enjoy!

i don't mind your shadows

You weren't sure what hurt worse. Your fingers, stiff from being held in the same position for hours as you practiced your shadow manipulation behind your home, or your heart.

"Gaara's engaged. The council arranged a marriage for him, and he's going along with it. He's okay with who they picked."

"Just okay?" You grumbled at the memory of Temari telling you the latest update on her brothers, one of which you were far more interested in. That had been over a week before, and you were still aching over it. "She's probably gorgeous and important. That's why he's okay with it."

You used your shadow to dislodge a kunai from a tree and throw it at another. "I'm sure she'll look great next to him. The picture perfect political wife."

You fell to your knees, suddenly realizing how low on chakra and strength you were.

"Shit," you mumbled and sat back. Hopefully your brother would come check on you and help you get back inside. You weren't one to lay down and take a load off like Shikamaru, being more like your mother while he took after your father, but you wouldn't deny that laying down and relaxing once in a while did have merit. Eyeing the clouds, you saw one in a shape that made you think of-

You groaned and looked away from the cloud that reminded you of Gaara's gourd.

"Hey."

You turned your head to see your elder brother. He had a little over a year on you, but you were often mistaken as the elder sibling because he usually went along with what you said.

"Hey. What's up? Did Mom send you out?"

"Not exactly. We have guests, so you need to get inside."

"Why?" You groaned. "Can't you tell them I'm not in the mood to entertain?"

"No."

You gave a weary sigh. "Okay, Tell them that I'll be in soon. I just need to catch my breath."

"Don't take too long. You know how Mom is," was all he said before leaving.

"This is one of those times when his reluctance to help does me good," you muttered, closing your eyes and draping an arm over them.

You only had a few minutes of peace before you heard someone approach. It was an unfamiliar gait, so you couldn't tell who by sound alone. The approaching foot steps stopped, and you were tempted to move your arm, but that felt like admitting defeat.

"Give me just a moment. I went a little too hard with my training," you explained.

"I don't mean to rush you," a low voice said, making you shoot up straight.

"What are you doing here?" spilled out, and you immediately winced in shame. "Sorry. Forget I asked. You owe me no explanation, Lord Kazekage."

"I thought we were past the formalities."

A surge of bitterness ran through you, and your voice betrayed you again. "That was before you were betrothed. Out of respect for your fiancée, until I meet her, I don't think I should address you in such a familiar way."

"Why not? Everyone else still does."

You bit the inside of your cheek as you got to your feet, trying to come up with a good answer. You didn't think "but how many of the others have been in love with you for years?" would fly.

"I just don't feel right about it," was what you settled on. "Is she here with you?"

"No, she's not," he replied cryptically.

"You left her back in Suna alone? Will she be all right?"

"She's not in Suna. Hakuto is no longer my betrothed. She had someone else, and I wouldn't enslave her in a marriage where she'd likely be unhappy for the rest of her life."

The name rang a bell. "Hakuto? I've heard that name-"

Your eyes went wide as you realized there was a lot more to the pair you helped Shikamaru get settled within your clan's protection than he let on. The bastard couldn't give even you a full disclosure?

"She was the one?" Your heart sank a little. She would have looked perfect beside Gaara, all right. Beautiful and regal in appearance, that's all many leaders needed, but you guessed there was more to her than that if he was willing to go through with the arrangement.

What would the next one be like? You didn't doubt that the Suna council would continue to badger their young leader.

"I-I'm sure you'll have no problem finding another one," you weakly offered some semblance of support, but it was so hollow.

"I'm not so sure. My past is still a bit of a deterrent to some."

"Some," you softly laughed. "They'd have to be insane to not give you a chance based on who you were all the way back then. You've changed so much from the boy I saw fighting Sasuke in the exams, and anyone who says differently is lying. If they really let that keep them back, then they have no idea what they're missing. I mean I'd-"

You cut yourself off before you could say anything that would be considered inappropriate. But you wanted to say it. You wanted to say it so badly.

I'd give anything to have that chance.

"You'd what?" He pressed.

"I'd say that there are still more women than you could possibly imagine that would line up just for the chance to stand at your side, and not because of your position. I just hope that the next arrangement I'm sure they'll try to force on you will be with someone that will enable you to find further happiness."

You offered him a small smile. "I'm sure the next one will work out."

"There won't be another arrangement."

Your eyes widened a bit. From what you'd heard, his council was downright tyrannical when they could get away with it, and they were obsessed with having an heir for him to pass the mantle of his title to.

"That's wonderful. You get to choose what you do. I think it's dumb that they were pushing that on you. None of the Hokage were pressured like that."

You cursed the way your heart leapt in your chest as his gaze swept over you, feeling like it was pulling at a leash. He may have been let off the hook, but that didn't mean anything for you. No, he was still the Kazekage, and most of the time, you just felt like all you would ever be was Shikamaru's sister at best. It wouldn't be right for you to make your feelings known. Powerless as you ultimately were, they were your burden to bear, and yours alone.

"Thank you," he said, to which you nodded.

"Well, you didn't come out here just to tell me that, did you?"

"No, I didn't, but it is along the same line."

You tilted your head a bit as your curiosity deepened. "Okay?"

He softly sighed, and for the first time ever, you saw him as nothing more than a nervous young man. Not as a great leader, or a strong shinobi. Just a man that couldn't help his apprehension.

"They presented me with a suggestion before Hakuto, and I said no. They actually really pushed for the first option, but I wasn't going to let them pressure her into it."

You weren't quite on Shikamaru's level, but your intellect was nothing to scoff at. Even then, it didn't take a genius to figure out what he was hinting at, and your mind blanked as you attempted to formulate a response.

"And what if they didn't have to? What if she jumped at the offer? What if she's one of the women I mentioned a minute ago?"

It all came out in a jumble, and you wondered if he even understood what you said. It was clear that he did as you swore you saw the fear flee from him, and he was suddenly the same man you'd always seen. It was a little disappointing as you realized you'd never seen him appear so human before, but it was minimally so.

"If that was the case, I'd say I still didn't want them to make the offer. I would wish to do it myself, after taking a little time to actually court her. The only arrangement I would agree to would be strictly between us."

All your previous exhaustion was replaced with an energetic charge that could have propelled you over the house.

"Why me?" You questioned, voice weak despite the elation in it.

"Because even though the first time you saw me was when I was at my worst, you never made me wonder if you were afraid of me. Any time those exams were discussed while you were around, the others would gloss over the darker details and glance at me, and I know they were looking to preserve my feelings. You... You never did. You're like Naruto, accepting all of me as I am and as I was with no judgment. Like just a moment ago, whenever you bring up that time, you don't change, except-"

A smile dominated your face as you reveled in his words. It was absolutely insane, but even with everything you'd heard about him from Shikamaru and the little you'd seen of him in that state... You just weren't afraid of him. Your brother claimed brain damage was involved, and maybe he was right, but every time you looked at Gaara, you could see past the mania to the heart that struggled so much. That first day, and every following encounter just showed you someone with a lot to give, but had a deficiency of the love needed to teach him how to do that. His willful transformation proved you right.

"Except?" You questioned, encouraging him to finish his thought.

He appeared purely human once again as he grew slightly bashful.

"Except when you seem to become happier by talking about it. When you saw me for the second time after we returned with Naruto and the others, it was like you were excited to see me."

You didn't know if you were embarrassed that he noticed or not. You'd say not.

"Either way, you've never shown any fear," he continued, and you saw a spark of emotion in him, as well as a little bewilderment. He seemed to get a little lost in his thoughts. "I know I never hurt you directly, but you still know what I was like. There are still some people who have as much experience with me as you do that can't look me in the eye."

"Gaara," you spoke up, voice soft but clear, drawing him back. "I deal in shadows. Literal or figurative, I'm not afraid of yours. Everyone casts shadows in one way or another, but when the light shines on them, they all disappear."

With a little smirk, you used the very last ounce of chakra you possessed to link your shadow with his, causing him to step closer as you did. When you were nearly toe to toe, you released him.

"And for the record, the darkest shadows are cast by the brightest light. Your past and any other shadows are always going to stand out when compared to who you are now. That doesn't mean they have any power. They can't do anything unless you put up obstacles to block the light and allow them to grow. You're not someone who does that. I know you never have been. You're so bright, and I'll gladly stand by you."

The ensuing smile from him lit you up like a lighthouse.

"Thank you," he said, barely above a whisper.

As you stood there, you noticed the shadows the two of you cast in the light from the lowering sun. They were unified, and you took that as a very good sign.

[captnjacksparrow]

Hi I just wanna say I love your blog. But I have question, in regards to Boruto and Sasuke’s relationship. Why does Sasuke spend so much time with Boruto instead of his own daughter. Like I get it that Boruto reminds him of Naruto. But Sarada is his daughter and we know that Sasuke puts his family above all else. So why is he going to such lengths to avoid her. I don’t understand their(Sasuke and Sarada) relationship. I mean that Boruto and Naruto have a strained relationship, but you can see Naruto’s approval means the world to Boruto and Naruto would go to any lengths for his son. Compared to this Sasuke and Sarada act like strangers with each other. And even when he is in the village he is always around either Boruto or Naruto, not his actual wife and daughter. I could even argue that Sasuke acts more like a father to Boruto than he does to Sarada. And I want to ask you hey that is? Why is Sarada so often excluded?

Naruto would go to any lengths for his son.

Ummm.... Nope. 

Atleast not as much as he would go for Kawaki... That much is very clear from the Manga. 

Anime is changing a lot of things just like they made people believe that Naruto Deeply, Solemnly, Mesmerizingly, Earnestly, Purely, Dedicatedly loved Sakura... When in reality, that’s some BS to cover up Naruto’s Gayness. In the Manga, Naruto was just hiding his feelings for Sasuke under the name of flirting with Sakura.

Sarada is his daughter and we know that Sasuke puts his family above all else.

This is such a misunderstood line of thought. Not blaming you, Anon. Am saying in General..... 

ThathuThakus have been saying this same shit since 2010. That Sasuke values his family over anything and that Sakura would be the one to give him a NEW family and all that kind of Garbage. 

Now think and tell me... What is the difference between you being a Son/Daughter to your parents (Case 1) and you being a Father/Mother to your Kid (Case 2)???? 

Both are families.... Yes.... But what’s the difference????

In Case 1.... You are the at the receiving end of the Love.... You can throw tantrums, make fun and fool around.... No matter what, your parent will pamper and take care of you. 

In Case 2.... You should be the endless provider of the Love... You need to take responsibility for bringing up your Kid and it’s a lot of work. It only clicks if you find the Right Partner who can share your burden, otherwise it would crumble on it’s own.

Did Sasuke ever showed any signs of wanting to get inside the bedsheet with another woman and start being a Sperm Factory at 19???? Or Let me put it this way...

You can receive Love from anyone.... But can you provide Unconditional Love to anyone... Especially to someone you have no interest in???? 

What Sasuke wanted was his FAMILY WITH ITACHI AS THE CENTRAL FIGURE... Not a family where he marries a girl with whom he had no feelings for!!! 

Both the Families are not same. They are totally different.

But Still..... The fact that Sasuke putting his family above all else is still WRONG.... And Sasuke proved this in Part 1 itself.

Anyways.... 

Sasuke loved his family.... Yes.... There’s No denying that. But, even among his Family members, he valued, treasured and loved Itachi above everyone. He would go heaven and hell for Itachi..... I can write a book about their bond. But anyways I will attach few panels. 

As we all know..... Sharingan awakens the moment an Uchiha undergoes extreme despair or loss of a loved one!!! Even in VoTE1... Sasuke got his 3rd Tomoe of Sharingan right after he decided to break up with Naruto. 

My point is.... It’s always pretty instant. 

This is Itachi giving his dreadful ‘Hate Me’ Speech after putting that Tsukuyomi on Sasuke. And you all know the contents of the Tsukuyomi.... So, at this point, Sasuke already saw his parents lifeless bodies directly and one more time through the Genjutsu. Plus he saw all the Clan members lay dead everywhere and also once more through his illusions. 

He actually didn’t awaken his Sharingan at that time.... 

But....

But Sasuke awakened his Sharingan only after Itachi was about to leave him alone..... betraying his Trust..... HE SIMPLY COULDN’T TRUST ITACHI’S ACTIONS NO MATTER HOW MANY VISIONS HE SHOWED HIM...... Because he loved his brother so much. His Dead Parents and his dead clan members couldn’t awaken his Sharingan but Itachi’s betrayal did. 

It doesn’t mean he didn’t love his parents or anything..... He simply loved his Brother more than everyone. Because Itachi acted as 

A Mother....

Even though, Sasuke had a Father.... He completely ignored Sasuke’s existence. As a parent he was supposed to go to Sasuke’s Entrance Ceremony... Since his dad was too obsessed with his Clan, Itachi takes a fatherly stance and says that, “I’m going to Sasuke’s entrance Ceremony into the Ninja Academy”... By doing this, Itachi actually acted as Sasuke’s Father in many ways. 

The point is Itachi was his World. And that’s why you won’t see Sasuke having any fond memories of his Dad and Mom.... It was always about his Brother. And Databooks also say the same. 

Look at how many mentions of ‘Brother’, ‘Father’, ‘Mother’, ‘Clan’....  

Now with all his blood related Family Members aside.... Sasuke put Naruto above everyone else, in this moment.... 

Until and unless, Sasuke doesn’t feel strongly about Naruto by placing him above his Parents and Brother, he wouldn’t have done this act.

Who the hell is Naruto to him, anyway... At this point???? He is just another Team Mate with whom he don’t even have a big history with.... 

Whereas just scroll above and see how much history he shared with Itachi... 

Sasuke loved Itachi more than his parents.... But he loved Naruto, a boy with whom he has no blood connection, more than Itachi.... And this is just Chapter 27 we are speaking. 

And in Chapter 699... Sasuke officially puts Naruto into his Family....

So, Sasuke loved his Family.... But Even among his Family members he has someone as his priority.... And even above them, Naruto is his priority. This is not me, speaking as an SNS fan... I am just showing the fact which was established in the Manga for 700 Chapters.

Can you tell me when did Sasuke prioritized Sakura???? If he can’t prioritize Sakura at any point... How could he prioritize her child??? 

Why does Sasuke spend so much time with Boruto instead of his own daughter.  So why is he going to such lengths to avoid her. Why is Sarada so often excluded?

Well, Technically that Forehead Poke Sasuke gave to Sarada in Gaiden is another way of saying, “I have no time for you now... Sorry”... So, there is that. 

It all comes down to “Who Sasuke considers as his True Family member?”... With Naruto, he already declared that he was going to put him as his Family Member... So, basically A Child that resembles Naruto would also be his own Child as well.... 

It’s almost like you marry the person you TRULY love... And see your partner’s resemblance in your child. With Boruto, he could able to see Naruto... 

Just like how Hinata sees Naruto in Boruto....

Corporate asks you find the difference between two GifSets... But they are the same GifSets....

It’s definitely a kind of attraction from Sasuke’s side.

With Sarada... He couldn’t see any semblance of the person he loved.... The Manga/Anime is not at all being subtle... They made Sasuke to see Naruto’s image in Boruto for almost 3 or 4 times. 

Like I said above, When it comes to providing Love... You can’t just give it to anyone. Sasuke can’t provide his Love for Sakura and hence he considers Sarada as Sakura’s child.... And that’s precisely why he just abandoned her for a decade. 

Whereas that’s not the case with Naruto. 

And that’s why Sasuke spends more time with Boruto than Sarada. 

If you say it’s OOC and all that... Then Kishimoto must be wrong from Chapter 27 onwards..... 

[[But don’t ask me... “If Sasuke didn’t love her why did he marry her and have a Child...???”.... Because the Answer is Obvious.... He was forced to marry Sakura by the Studio to bring out Sarada... That’s all... Not every people can adapt into their forced marriages and smile bright with their 32 teeth showing out....Even Naruto couldn’t do that..... Let alone Sasuke]]

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

(From the post you just reblogged) One thing I want to tell you: You are geniunely making me want to go and watch the Invader Zim series. I knew I enjoyed it when I was a kid the few times I could catch it, even if the grotesque stuff threw me for a loop sometimes, but seeing how the fandom is still active and how there was a relatively recent movie for it makes me want to re-experience it now with grown eyes!

Honestly. Some people tell me that they don't even watch Invader Zim, but read Tech Support.

Tech Support is my HUGE BABY of a fanfic (sorry lofi I love it a little more) and is a complete re-telling of the series in an order that makes chronological sense, from Zim's Computer's perspective.

It is so much more than that, but I do find the research and rewriting and tweaking of trying to make Invader Zim a more serialized show instead of an episodic events show was super fun, and I'm hoping to get back into it when my free time opens up.

Honestly, I never got into Invader Zim until 2019 when Enter the Florpus came out. I saw a few of my old mutuals reblog excitement and news about an Invader Zim movie, and I realized I myself had never seen Invader Zim. So I gave it a chance.

And I hated it. Hahahahah

Well, okay, hated is a strong word. I just found it pretty formulaic for the first few episodes.

Like "Alien with anxiety comes across a normal human thing, misunderstands it in a horrible and grotesque way, hilarity and dark humor ensues"

And that was the formula for a good chunk of the start of season one. Even episodes like Dark Harvest didn't really grab me that the show was something special.

So......

When the Steven Universe Movie came out... I gave it a second chance.

Thank god I did, because then I saw "The Wettening" and that was the episode that made me stick with Invader Zim, and I could tell how amazing and expensive the animation was for the time, and how Grey the protagonist and antagonist were. Zim and Dib change roles on who the Protagonist or Antagonist is depending on the episode, and I could finally see how Dib was being utilized as a character, and that's the episode where the show really found it's footing and knew what it wanted to be. It was about the rivalry between the two boys. It was about petty Elementary schoolyard fights that dissolved into a massive global threatening scale... and that's when Invader Zim is at it's absolute strongest and when it shines the most.

The Wettening really saved the show for me and made me continue watching.

I'm so glad I did, because then I watched the Steven Universe Future Movie and Enter the Florpus as a double feature. (AN EXPERIENCE I DO NOT RECOMMEND. YOU WILL BE EMOTIONALLY DEVESTATED BY A FUNNY LITTLE SCREAMING ALIEN MAN MOVIE AND CRYING BY THE END WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LAUGH)

I owe a lot to Invader Zim.

It's how I met a lot of lifelong friends on tumblr when my Naruto fandom friends were starting to move on and grow up. (we hardly get together in the group chat to just talk about funny memes and junk... It's all adult stuff like weddings and job hunting and bleh)

It also came at a time when I was processing a lot of feelings about the grief of the loss of my father. While it's been over six years since he passed away, and I don't miss him as much, working on the Post-Florpus AU helped me process a lot of feelings I felt about my father, parenthood, and seeing a show about a little green alien man in the world with no supportive parental figures, fighting a little boy with a stand-offish father who was trapped in his lab and hardly paid mind to his son...

Idk, it meant a lot to me when I was living alone in a studio appartment and shutting off all my emotions.

All my work about Invader Zim is deeply personal to me, and I want to see it finished to the end.

Anyways, I was kind of rambling all over the place, might of got deeply personal, but I do find it funny about how a show of a little screaming green man, can be so funny, yet so deeply personal to me, and helped me deal with processing death, at a time when I was pushing everyone away from me.

Funny how that works, and I don't even think the creator knows how deeply Invader Zim touches the hearts of the outcasts, abandoned and the grieving.

Cause the show is funny. Like there's an episode where they legit say "Pee Pee" over a thousand times.

But it's that kinda show.

I just love Invader Zim.

[milfmacbeth]

From Ur post about wasted potential in media... What r some of your fav examples of this ^__^

hi anon! 

so when i made this post i was thinking about supernatural. other stories that are still rotting my brain even though they ended years ago and i really should be over it by now include (but aren’t limited to) the magnus archives, game of thrones, naruto, and pirates of the caribbean. all of these are stories i love(d) but they either ended badly or have some massive but easily fixable flaws which is why they drive me insane. 

the short(ish) version: (disclaimer that this is only my opinion which is of course objectively correct and should be taken as gospel)

supernatural went on for too long, ended badly, and only ever scratched the surface of everything it could’ve been

the magnus archives seasons 1-4 are damn near perfect and season 5 is… there. 

game of thrones season 8. (do i even need to say anything about this one!?)

naruto suffers because of kishimoto’s misogyny and because the wrong characters die/survive

pirates of the caribbean should’ve been a trilogy and we all know elizabeth should’ve ended up a pirate 

the unreasonably long and extremely spoilery version under the cut (you have been warned)

supernatural: by tumblr standards i’m downright normal about spn but i did watch every episode at least once and i was obsessed with it as a teen so i’m not really one to talk. i’m following someone who’s just now getting into it and who has some very good takes (specifically about dean and john), and i’m being dragged back into the fandom kicking and screaming…

 ANYWAY

supernatural starts out as a monster of the week thing but then the plot thickens and you’ve got angels and demons and lucifer and the end of the fucking world and even though the later seasons have their moments, i’m a “supernatural should’ve ended with season 5” truther. 

and don’t even get me started on the winchesters. it’s like… you have a deliciously fucked up family dynamic, including codependency, incest-subtext, and two brothers who would end the world for each other. god as an absentee father-figure who will not save you. free will. characters that have witnessed history. an angel who almost stepped on the first fish crawling out of the sea, who dragged a man out of hell and fell for him in every sense of the word. the humanity of the monstrous. the inhumanity of the divine. magic. americana. mythology. empty roads and neon signs and dilapidated motels. Death who tells dean that he will reap god when the time comes. i know i’m not being particularly coherent but no one can tell me that what we actually got was the best they could do when they had ALL THIS to work with. and the fandom gets it. the fic and meta writers get it. i’ve seen so many transcendent takes by supernatural girlies whose third eye is wide fucking open. i know it’s possible. supernatural’s problem is that it was written by straight us-american men and aired on the cw. in conclusion, make it darker and grittier and let dean say fuck. 

that being said, even though it was garbage storytelling, i will never forget the wonderful night of mass hysteria that was the 5th of november, and i almost choked laughing when i saw dean get nailed by a vampire clown and sam in the shittiest wig imaginable. probably not the intended audience reaction though. (you’re better off just ignoring that 15.20 happened at all)

the magnus archives (season 5): oh boy where do i even begin? i rarely talk about this anymore because it just makes me so angry and i’m not having any fun. i like to pretend that season 5 doesn’t exist which works excellently because while the first 4 seasons are a cohesive narrative whole, season 5 feels like it’s tacked on at the end. (“do i like this story more if i just ignore the ending happened” is a very good question to ask yourself regarding the quality of a finale).

the magnus archives season 5 has several problems, some of which don’t even concern the narrative but are instead fuckery related to the story. i’ll get those out of the way first.

first of all, the fandom is the most vile cesspit of people with no media comprehension i’ve ever had the misfortune to be in. among such hits as “why is Bad Person treated with sympathy” and “why is the horror podcast about horror and not about gay shipping”, what bothers me most are the headcanons treated as law. 

i’ve personally witnessed takes like “daisy is bad representation for butch lesbians” (daisy is not canonically a lesbian or butch. the fandom made that up), and “jon is brown therefore xyz portrayal is racist” (again, jon’s skin color is never mentioned. him being brown is just the most popular HEADcanon). why am i telling you this in this already way too long post? this might be conjecture but i really believe that if the fandom wasn’t so godawful, the story could’ve been better. the creators caved to fandom pressure. this is one of the best examples of why there needs to be a boundary between audience and creator and why the fandom should have absolutely NO say whatsoever when it comes to what happens in the story.

the other thing that’s a bit meta and not in the story per se are the promises the creators made. jonny sims said two things: 

1. the story will end in tragedy: it didn’t. the ending was ambiguous and i wanted it to leave me devastated the way the s4 finale did. instead it left me indifferent and vaguely confused. 

2. there will be no romance and if there is, it’s not going to be the focus of the story: so that was a fucking lie. season 5 is nothing but jonmartin shoved into your face for 40 episodes. a lot of aros, aces and people who were there for the horror and not for the shipping were understandably disappointed

now, as for the actual story ,i’m a “jon should’ve had a corruption arc” truther. (here's a thing i did). i think it would fit with his character development since he’s been getting more monstrous with every season. elias has been manipulating jon into becoming an avatar of the Beholding and ending the world, and jon hates him for it. jon kills elias and takes his place and if they just stuck with that, with elias being destroyed by the god he created and jon ascending to be the fucked up evil king of a ruined world. fuck, it would’ve been so good. it would’ve been so delicious i’m going insane every time i think about it. this is the secret good season 5 that lives in my head.

instead they went with parallel universes, which is a concept that you probably shouldn’t introduce 3 episodes before the ending. it’s not a bad concept at all. they could’ve done it justice. but making parallel fucking universes the thing on which your finale hinges even though you’ve barely introduced them? yeah i’m gonna go ahead and call that an ass pull. it turns out that the Web has been manipulating everyone blah blah who cares the important part is this: the Web wins. the Web gets what it wants and this could’ve worked if it was framed and presented to us LIKE A TRAGEDY. it’s not. it’s presented like a bittersweet ending. the morality of the finale is extremely protagonist-centric (and by season 5 i started to hate everyone except jon). the protagonists decide to release the Fears, dooming a potentially infinite number of people to a life of horror, but fuck those guys, right? the important thing is that the protagonists are okay. i’m going to fight jonny sims in a parking lot.

one last thing. jonmartin fucking sucks. but it doesn’t have to. jon and martin don’t know each other. they’re completely incompatible. they’re together out of guilt and circumstance. they’re dysfunctional and they’re very realistically dysfunctional. i personally ship jonelias. don’t worry this is not about a shipping war, but one thing i’ve noticed is that jonelias is fucked up in an “i’ve made you a monster and then a god. i’ve used you to bring about the apocalypse” kind of way which i’m guessing not many people have personal experience with. jonmartin is fucked up in a “we’re not communicating and we’re only together because neither of us wants to be alone” way. that’s relatable. hell, that’s depressingly common. jon doesn’t love martin, he just wants to cling to his humanity. martin doesn’t love jon, he loves the idea of jon. THAT’S POTENTIAL! take that and work with it. what did they do instead? gave me a pairing of two people who absolutely should not be together, shoved it into my face for dozens of episodes, and then portrayed jealousy and miscommunication like something cute and romantic. literally what the fuck are they on.

game of thrones: *deeep sigh* ok there are about a billion 3hour video essays detailing everything wrong with season 8 but the main things for me are:

jon is a targaryen. he’s azor ahai. his is the song of ice and fire. and NONE OF THAT FUCKING MATTERS OH MY GOD  AT LEAST LET JON DO SOMETHING LITERALLY ANYTHING EXCEPT STANDING AROUND REPEATING THE SAME TWO LINES AD NAUSEAM.

daenerys descent into madness and villainy could’ve been great if it had been properly set up instead of done in a minute (this is not an exaggeration. her character goes from “slightly mentally unstable” to “war criminal putting a city of innocent people to the torch” in ONE minute. i counted.)

i read the books and euron greyjoy is so fucking cool in the books. i don’t know who the fuck that other guy is but it certainly ain’t him.

arya killing the night king and bran becoming king. i wish i could say something funny or insightful but i genuinely have no words.

naruto: it’s been a while since i watched naruto. i’ve seen plenty of male writers being shitty but i’ve never seen misogyny drag a story down quite this much. personally, i’m done making excuses for this shit. if you can’t write women, you’re a bad writer. period. 

the problem with naruto is that the women are literally just... there. doing absolutely fuck all and being generally useless. this is not even a matter of social justice, this is a matter of storytelling. even if you’re the biggest macho dudebro around you’ll have to admit that one third of your cast standing around and being incompetent doesn’t make for a very interesting story, does it now?

and then there’s the matter of madara being nerfed in favor of kaguya. yeah… that one was an ass pull.

but what bothers me most is that the wrong characters die or don’t die respectively. some examples:

hinata should’ve died (instead of “almost died”) when pain attacked konoha. it would’ve made her sacrifice more meaningful and she would’ve come back one way or another. in my opinion she should’ve stayed dead for good because her arc was mostly done by that point and she doesn’t really do much after that except cheer on naruto (see misogyny above)

when madara fought the five kage, he almost killed all of them. keyword almost. i get that tsunade is a good healer but that fight would’ve been more meaningful if someone (literally any ONE of the kage) had actually died.

gai should’ve died. listen, you can’t build up the 8th gate as this super special technique that you can do only once because it costs your life and then not have gai die. it cheapens the entire thing. what was the fucking point? 

neji should’ve LIVED. a monumental part of his character arc was realizing that he’s worth just as much as the main family and that he doesn’t have to be subservient to hinata. and then he sacrifices himself for hinata. yeah that felt like one step forward two steps back. 

in conclusion: kishimoto needs to drink his respect women juice and learn when to kill characters and when to let them live.

pirates of the caribbean: i tend to ignore that part 4 and 5 even exist. please let the franchise die i am begging.

i don’t have that many examples of wasted potential but you can’t tell me that PIRATE KING elizabeth swann would stay on land being a good housewife. fuck no.

so yeah. i’m done. thank you for asking, this was a lot of fun to answer and i hope you enjoyed Do You Love The Color Of My Incoherent Ramblings

[migila]

Fic time! Naruto time!

Not Alone

Naruto could see his father’s back, the text “Fourth Hokage” standing out brightly on his white coat, yet no matter how much he ran, how far he stretched out his hand, he couldn’t reach him. He couldn’t reach his mother either, standing right there next to his father, her back to him as well, giving him a clear view of her long, beautiful red hair.

But it was okay.

It was alright, he was used to it. And it’s not like being unable to reach his parents meant that he was alone; not at all. He wasn’t alone, he never had been. Even if his parents had died on the day he was born, they’d left someone else to watch after him. And that someone was always there.

Turning to look over his shoulder, Naruto saw Kurama’s looming form behind him, as usual. With a grin, he held out his fist to the fox, who met it with his own. But then, the fox started moving, walking past him.

That had never happened; Kurama had always stayed behind him.

“Kurama?” he questioned as the tailed beast walked over to his parents “Where are you going?”

Kurama looked over his shoulder after reaching the couple, before looking forward again. Then, the three of them started walking away.

Leaving him behind.

“Wait, Kurama!” this wasn’t how it was supposed to go; Kurama was always there with him. Always. His parents never were, but up until now, Kurama had always-! “Don’t go!”

Naruto ran after the three, after the fox, but despite going as fast as he could, their backs only got smaller, their presences further. He reached out his hand desperately, calling after him-

“KURAMA!” Naruto shot up in his bed, hand reaching out. Sitting there, it took him a few seconds to process the situation.

“It was a dream” he realized “Just a dream.”

Except no, not really. It wasn’t just a dream; Kurama was gone for real, just like his parents.

Gone.

Kurama had never been gone before; they’d never been apart before, save for that short time during the war he’d been forced out. Sure, Naruto hadn’t even known he was there for the first 12 years, but he’d been there all the same.

He regretted not hearing the truth earlier. He regretted those three or so years that he knew but hadn’t really put any effort in to talking to Kurama. He had never even thought of asking the fox’s name, a fact that had filled him with shame for years now. At times, he wondered if they could’ve become proper partners earlier if he’d asked about it.

Tears of frustration tingled at the corners of Naruto’s eyes. There was nothing he could do about that anymore, absolutely nothing. And now Kurama was gone. For the first time in his life, he was really, truly-

“Lord Seventh?”

Naruto’s head shot up, and his eyes met Kawaki’s as the boy sat on the couch, a book hanging in his loose grip as he stared at the older man with eyes that were definitely concerned.

“Is everything alright?”

“Y-yeah!” Naruto hastily wiped his eyes. He didn’t like the idea of the kids seeing him cry, but considering his circumstances, it was even worse that it was Kawaki who saw him cry. The boy had enough worries of his own; he didn’t need Naruto’s on top of them!

Kawaki kept staring, and Naruto had a feeling he was going to ask. Not wanting things to get there, he got up and looked at the clock. Fortunately, the timing was good.

“Dinner’s probably ready soon; we should head down” he says, going to the door. His hand is on the handle when Kawaki says: “I’m sorry.”

Naruto freezes.

“The Tailed Beast… Kurama, you called it? It’s dead because Jigen came after me” Kawaki continued “I’m sorry.”

Naruto closed his eyes. He should’ve known it’d come to this.

“It’s not your fault” he says “If anything, I’m the one at fault for failing to protect you.”

And failing to protect Kurama.

“But- “

“Kawaki” he says, now looking at the boy “It’s not your fault. Kurama was the one who suggested that I used that technique, even though he knew it’d kill him. It was his idea; he chose to give his life to protect us.”

And Konoha.

And the whole world.

The one who was thought of as nothing but a mindless beast for so long, the one that many still thought so of no doubt, had given his life to protect others.

Naruto would have to make sure that this part of the Tailed Beast’s history would be recorded down just the same as his attack on the village. The future generations needed to know just who had protected the Will of Fire so that it could be passed on to them.

And speaking of passing it on…

Naruto took few steps back in to the room to reach Kawaki, who was still sitting down, before patting his head.

“Just promise me one thing, okay?”

“…What is it?”

Kawaki wasn’t the type to agree to something before knowing the details. Not that this surprised Naruto in the slightest; he’d already figured that one out.

“His name was Kurama” the Hokage said “Not Nine Tails, nor tailed beast. Kurama. He had a name. Make sure you remember it.”

“…I will”

Kawaki was sincere, Naruto knew. Not that he would’ve expected anything else. He smiled.

“Good” he said “Now let’s get to that dinner.”

This time Kawaki followed, but as they were on the stairs, the boy said: “There are more tailed beasts, aren’t there? Aside from Kurama?”

“Yeah, there are. Eight of them”

“Do all eight have names?”

Naruto stops in his tracks again, looking at Kawaki over his shoulder. The boy stops too, cautiously eyeing the older man “…What?”

“Nothing, nothing” Naruto grins, recovering from the surprise and continuing his way down “Yes, they do. Of course.”

Speaking of which, how many people besides him knew them? How many used them? He knew Bee knew them all, but did he remember? Either way, there were way too few people who knew them.

“They haven’t specifically asked me to keep them secret or anything, so would you like to hear?”

“Sure”

Naruto reached the kitchen door, pulling it open.

“Naruto, good timing; the dinner’s ready!” Hinata said as she brought the pot of nabe to the table “Is Kawaki with you?”

“Yeah” Naruto walked in, Kawaki following close behind. The blond spotted his son on the couch, playing with a game console, and Himawari was currently setting the table. The whole family was there.

He was not alone.

A rare urge to show physical affection taking over, Naruto walked over to his wife to press a kiss to her temple. Hinata blinked.

“Ew, dad, there are others in here!” Boruto called from the couch, pointedly facing the other direction “Have some manners!”

“You’re overreacting, Boruto” Naruto laughed, holding his arms out for Himawari who rushed towards him, pulling her in to a hug “Now come eat. And it’s about time I taught you kids something.”

“Like what?” Boruto put his game console down, interest clearly caught as he came over, sitting on his usual seat. When everyone else were on their seats as well, Naruto started: “You kids remember who Kurama is, right?”

“That’s the Nine Tailed fox’s name, isn’t it?” Boruto asks as Himawari and Hinata nod “Didn’t you say that he’s… gone now?”

“Yeah, he is. But it’s important to remember him. And not just him; he has eight siblings” Naruto says “Do you guys know their names?”

“Names?” Boruto repeats, thinking “Um, well the one tail is- “

“Shukaaku!” Himawari cuts her brother off.

“Close enough; it’s Shukaku” Naruto corrects with a smile “Most people don’t know their names, or even know they have ones, but I think it’s important to know them.”

“Well, guess it would be rude to just refer to them with the number of their tails” Boruto agrees with a shrug, and Naruto’s glad that he gets it.

“Mom, has dad taught you their names?” Himawari asks. Naruto turns to Hinata. He’d told her, had told all his close friends, shortly after the war, but he doubted she’d remember, at least not all.

“Of course, he has” Hinata replies, and to Naruto’s surprise, she starts listing the names: “One Tail is Shukaku, Two Tails is Matatabi, Three Tails is Isobu, Four Tails is Son Goku, Five Tails is Kokuõ, Six Tails is Saiken, Seven Tails is Choumei, Eight Tails is Gyuki and Nine Tails is Kurama.”

Naruto stares at her in surprise. That was all of them; she got all the names right and didn’t even mix any of them up.

“How…?”

“You did tell us, didn’t you?” Hinata smiles at him “They’re important to you, so I made sure to remember.”

Naruto knew he was getting too emotional lately; tears were prickling in the corners of his eyes again.

“Thank you”

His voice is quiet, but right now, he doesn’t have the strength for more.

“I’ll make sure to remember them, too!” Himawari cheered.

“Yeah, me too” Boruto agreed “…Though I might need to write them down; I don’t think I can remember from just hearing them once. Right, Kawaki?”

“Speak for yourself” the boy replies “I can remember.”

“Huh?!”

Naruto watches his children bicker, too amused to interfere. Why had he been down again? Kurama, the one who always stayed by his side, may be gone, but he’d be alright.

He was home.

He had a family.

He wasn’t alone.